Freshman year

What a journey this year has been.  There have been so many random twists and turns of fate that I never could have predicted at this time last year.  I find myself looking back on a year that hit me in the face. 

Freshman year for me, in a way, started in February 2010 during percussion camp.  Mickey called us then-eighth graders freshmen, because for us, the marching band season had already started and that's what we would be in the fall.  I got to know Nick and Teresa better, and I met Joe.  Sarah and Jessica didn't crop up till auditions.  I already knew the other freshmen.

Through various "section bonding" get-togethers over the summer, I became comfortable with the rest of my band family.  Band camp came around and I got to know a lot of the bandies better.  It was like having one crazy-huge family.
Band was a lifesaver, because it meant I entered high school with a good number of friends who were upperclassmen and really cared about me.  When people picked on me, I could go to my band friends to vent and get advice. 

Arena scheduling at Linworth was overwhelming for me on the first day of school.  It meant an overwhelming amount of chatter and general noise, not counting Larry's air horn.  There were so many people, and all of them were so unique that I felt like I didn't fit in because I wasn't as unique.  So I hid in a corner as far away as I could get from the air horn and drew pictures till lunchtime and till my turn to sign up for classes.  I had never felt so shy in all my life. 

Kilbourne was even more of a challenge to adjust to. The moment you walk into the building, you're hit with sound.  Talking, footsteps, locker doors slamming, chairs scraping against floors, doors being slammed shut, the obnoxious bell, announcements...it seemed like too much.  I was surrounded by popular people in most of my classes, which made me feel self-concious because I wasn't exactly popular.  So I kept my mouth shut, studied, wrote, and drew in my sketchbook.  I was retreating into my own little world. 

Winter and indoor drumline changed my world yet again.  I grew closer to my drumline friends, and they helped me come to terms with the fact that my friend Delaney, who was in the hospital with cancer that was pretty advanced, was not going to live much longer.  The whirlwind of pracices and contests kept me busy so that I wouldn't dwell on the fact.

Second semester brought arena scheduling again, but it was far less stressful this time because I had been through it once already and some of my old friends had transferred.  After classes, I began to reach out and connect with people more, becoming more social than before, probably because I wasn't as busy. 

In the middle of the spring, Delaney passed away.  It was tough to try to deal with.  She was 15, newly so.  It didn't seem fair that her life had to be so short and that she should have had to suffer so much at the hands of cancer.  I was tempted to just shut down completely and watch the rest of the world stream by, while I stood motionless in time.  But my counselor pointed out that Delaney wouldn't want me to just totally shut down, because that wouldn't help anyone.

The pain has numbed with time, but the start of true marching band season has helped too, with distractions like teaching the incoming freshman how to play the different instruments.  I pity the freshman who got stuck playing the rack this year, but it's not nearly as dangerous as when I did it.  Back then, it had been dubbed "The Cage of Death".  The old one that was given that name broke into four pieces towards the end of last fall.  He'll get used to putting all the stuff on eventually.  I'll be there to give advice.

With the craziness of graduation parties, birthday parties, and end-of-the-year parties, the past few weeks are a blur, but I have a feeling this will be a great summer vaction.